Why the hell do I get the oh-so-pleasant experience of walking into the MENS bathroom on MY floor, and getting looked at like I'm in the intruder? 6 freaking people (looking like soon to be hipsters) loitering in the damn bathroom right inside the door, and their female friend is over putting on make up or some other unnecessary shit, and it's clear she's been and will continue to be using this for a while. So I get to walk in and immediately look at the ground and then wash my hands like a jackass while some idiot laughs about it, and his bitchy friend looks at me like I'm some creep invading her space. You know what chick?
This leads me to a rant of things that I hate.
1. Hipsters
I really hate hipsters. Hipsters are probably the worst type of people imaginable. I want to punch hipsters in the face. This is what a hipster is: http://www.cracked.com/funny-4573-hipster/
I hate anyone with an undeserved sense of accomplishment and a smug attitude of superiority. Hipsters are worse than every other type of people in existence and all the reasons that make them such are why they think they're superior. Hipsters wear trashy clothes and absolutely ridiculous glasses and stocking caps, they don't shave, they eat things which I don't think anyone can really call "food." They purposefully listen to obscure and terrible music in order to be less mainstream. Hipsters do nearly everything "ironically" which is just a word to use to justify wearing crappy clothes (sometimes really expensive clothes made to look crappy) and forgetting basic hygiene. The REAL irony is that they become a parody of themselves AND considering they all dress alike, drink the same beer, have all the same opinions and get their music by the word of pitchfork.com, they end up more conformist and less open-minded than society at large. They are the hairy un-wiped asshole of liberal subculture.
Hipsters would be bad enough as it is, annoying, pretentious douchebags living off of their parents, but not only are their ideas annoying, they're genocidal. They want EVERYONE to eat organic, and want to ban the use of preservatives, additives, and all forms of chemicals from food. They also want to pretty much destroy anything they can even remotely tie to global warming or industrialization. The problem is that if implemented, these ideas would literally mean the deaths of millions of people from disease and starvation. Sure, America might be able to afford cutting down on industrialization (afford, not enjoy) but how about lesser developed nations that these hipsters claim to give a rat's about? Oh yeah, they'd devolve into chaos, and no one would have enough food. I don't need to explain all the reasons why they're insane. Penn and Teller have done fantastic work on how the organic food, global warming and environmental movements are insane and murderous. I think they can be summed up in Penn's message to hipsters:
2. Mac People
I hate Mac people. Mac people have almost all the pretentious-ness of hipsters. They have something and that makes them better than you. Now, iPods and iPhones are great, but after that I think Steve Jobs is just having a laugh and giving the middle finger to society (while bathing in his piles of money of course.) The iPad? Wow. I wish my iPhone was 5x bigger and couldn't make phone calls. Could I also pay even more for this device? That's the tops! And for the rest of it? Well I think Jared summed it up well, "Apple sells yesterday's technology at tomorrow's prices." Not to mention the fact that Mac people live under the delusion that Apple factories look like the sparkling white laboratory on Kamino in The Clone Wars.
Mac people, star bucks people, liberals, hipsters, it's all part of the pretentious scene. Also, all hipsters are mac people.
"But it's an iPhone Jen! I may be able to get an iPhone without giving any money to Apple! I'll be living the dream!" Maurice Moss
3. George Lucas
George Lucas falls into a category along with Glee and (occasionally) the Disney Channel. A category I like to call "People who crap on things I love."
George Lucas created Star Wars. The 3 Star Wars movies were some of the greatest films ever made. They were made using improvised techniques, straight up camera shots, and some damn fine acting. The constraints of making these films ended up making them great. The freedom allowed to the actors created some of the most memorable scenes. Like when Han Solo is about to be frozen and shipped off to Jabba's palace. Leia, in the climax of a great cinematic romance, shouts "I love you!" completely exposing her character. When she's at an extremely vulnerable and open position and Han is about to be taken away indefinitely, all he responds with is "I know." Because he's a bad ass. Those two lines were all Harrison Ford.
The combat sequences were simplistic, but powerful. Each fight symbolized something greater than it was. Characters with internal conflicts, Vader and Luke feeling each other out during their first confrontation. Obi-Wan's sacrifice in the Death Star. The fights weren't as visually stunning but each was soaked in meaning.
Star Wars is on par with some great literature. The symbolism and meaning and connection to real life at every level is incredible, and darn near perfect.
Then George Lucas made the prequels. . .
Pictured Above: Star Wars Episodes 1-3
George Lucas created 3 of the most expensive turds ever produced.
He spent millions of dollars, with much more directorial leeway, established credibility, and technology advanced light years from what he had for the first 3 movies. And they sucked. They sucked so bad that they actually affected the story lines and some of the moments in the original 3 films. That's a new level of suck. These films suck so badly they make the original 3 worse. I don't need to get into the plot holes, the questions that are raised in light of comparing the movies, the suck of the prequels is well documented.
As if that weren't bad enough, he decided to go in and edit the original three. Using CGI, he crammed every extra alien and ship possible into the scenes and simultaneously sucked them of their value, just like he did the original 3. He made Greedo shoot first for crying out loud! Han Solo shooting Greedo in the Mos Eisely Cantina was a brilliant scene. It showed Solo as a morally ambiguous character, who clearly was not afraid to get his hands dirty and was involved in some less than reputable activities. It gave his character depth and made his conversion to a true hero more moving.
In the prequels we get 2 dimensional characters, glaring plot holes, contrived story lines and flat out moronic characters like Jar-Jar Freaking Binks.
4. Twitter.
Twitter took the idea of Facebook Status updates, and made a whole site devoted to it. Whoopty-freaking-do. The overwhelming amount of Twitter users, or "Twats" are vain and preppy. I care for them about as much as I care what they're doing every five minutes. Twitter is the perfect website for attention whores.
5. Everyone who uses the word "Bro."
Frat guys, douchebags, guidos, all the same. Low intelligence, drunk, assholes. Pretty much imagine the stereotypical jackass from a Frat house, and you've got your man.
6. Justin Bieber
7. Stephanie Meyer
so hipsters is just a dressed up word for hippies, sounds like they haven't changed since the 60's. and yes the first 3 Star Wars were the best! I read somewhere years ago, that the actors were told the movie probably wouldn't amount to much so just go for it and have fun. Harrison Ford said he felt like a kid again playing cops and robbers. I think that comes across with the actors-they were enjoying themselves.
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